Tag Archives: women

Password

Posted on August 15, 2013 by John

You should give Her complete access to your life. Even if She never takes advantage of it, knowing you have nothing to hide tells Her She can trust you. She should be able to read your e-mails and text messages and listen to your … Continue reading →

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The Most Beautiful Bride

Posted on August 14, 2013 by John

I went to a wedding recently. There were flowers everywhere. The men were in tuxes. The women were in beautiful dresses. The bride was a vision in white. A gorgeous flowing gown. An exquisite veil. Her hair was perfectly coiffed. Months … Continue reading →

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The Vanity Chest

Posted on May 22, 2012 by John

She may get a Dolly Parton boob job (the word “augmentation” doesn’t change what it is folks). Take four pounds of fat from Her butt and inject it into Her lips so She can look like Mick Jagger in a vacuum. Kill all … Continue reading →

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Think Harder

Posted on May 21, 2012 by John

If She is out of sorts and you can’t think of anything you did to upset Her, you are not thinking hard enough.

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Keep Your Receipts

Posted on March 15, 2012 by John

It is always a good idea to keep your receipts when you buy something for Her. You never know when something might be deductible or, more importantly, what kind of mistake you might have made. Whatever you bought could be the … Continue reading →

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The Donkey Admonition

Posted on March 9, 2012 by John

Ladies, please remember that a jackass with a nice ass is still an ass.

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Take Her Someplace New

Posted on March 2, 2012 by John

When you get the chance you should take Her someplace She has never been to do something She has never done.     We’ll be back Monday.

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Lose Some Sleep

Posted on February 28, 2012 by John

If She gets sick or has trouble sleeping you should have trouble sleeping. The 3 a.m. cough that wakes Her up from a sound sleep should wake you too. The thought of moving to the other room because She is … Continue reading →

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You Can’t Win If You Don’t Play

Posted on February 27, 2012 by John

If you never buy a ticket, you’ll never win the lottery. If you never fill out that Publisher’s Clearing House stack of mail, Ed McMahon’s crew will never show up at your house with a bunch of flowers and a … Continue reading →

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Invest Wisely

Posted on February 15, 2012 by John

She will keep track of everything you do or don’t do. Whether on purpose or by accident, there will be an accounting of everything you say or don’t say. Every time you make Her feel a certain way, good or bad, is an investment in … Continue reading →

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